you think you know a motherfucker

[unknownerrors]

i have been working at the same job now for like 9 years. i'm a smoker, and my employer has setup two areas where we are allowed to smoke. i see the same people in those smoke areas everyday. now this guy, this fuck, went out of his way everyday i saw him to stop, say hi, ask about my family and basically be an all around nice guy. he always would be an active person in conversations, he wasn't a shy or quite guy... he was normal if anything he was overly nice. the kind of person i wouldn't have given a second thought to inviting into my home.


yesterday the FBI showed up here, lead him out in cuffs and apon searching his locker found hundreds of micro sd cards (later it was discovered the cards had been stolen from the cells phones in the lost and found, which he was responsable for maintaining) filled with child porn. further more this man is in his late 50's and married to a 25 year old, they were wed the same month she turned 18. not that its uncommon for an older man to be married to a younger woman, this is vegas after all, but considering that they were wed when she was only 18, i can't help but wonder how long he had been having relations with her before she was of age.

i'm a father of two young boys, (2 and 5) and i'm sick with the thought that i have been dupped, that i couldn't see this evil. how can i protect my children when i can't see the things and people that would do them harm for what they are. its unnerving.

 

[Dealings]

how can i protect my children when i can't see the things and people that would do them harm for what they are

nobody gets the benefit of the doubt in my book and thats what I always teach my kids 5 and 8, everybody is a threat.

You dont need to live in fear of your own shadow but we believe in fucking up the shadow at 1st hint of any bs and not giving it a fighting chance

 

[Mordred]

Some of them are that good. Most of them have spent years hiding what they are. All you can do is be pro-active in your child's life. Tell them the dangers that could be out there and make sure they understand that speaking up about something is not going to get them in trouble. Question them when something doesn't seem right and if all else fails, let someone step in. Like Dealings said, you don't have to be afraid of everything but know that danger is possibly just around the corner. Make your children the best they can be by talking to them. Yes sometimes certain things can't be told to younger ones but you can atleast explain to a point. That is how my GF deals with her son. She has a very open line of communication with him and it makes him more comfortable when uneasy questions come up. You have to find what works for you as a parent. =)

 

[unknownerrors]

i agree with you both. once my 5 year was able to hold a converstion this was one of the first subjects we spoke about. and we keep open lines on the subject, once in a while he asks questions which both worries me and lets me know these things are on his mind and sinking in. and once in a while i'll revisit the subject with him myself. it does suck that a child, that shouldn't have a care in the world must learn of the sick sad dangers that could be anywhere. you have to wonder what it must be like to be a child and instead of fearing made up hokie shit you have something very real to fear.

 

[Mordred]

This is Mordred's GF. Figured it was easier for me to say then him.

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. My mom's second husband, so I know exactly where you are coming from. Yes it can be scary being a parent when your child comes to you about certain things and you wonder where they heard about it. All you can really do is teach them to notice things and to speak up when they feel uneasy. These sickos go to great lengths to keep themselves as hidden as possible and they prey on those children who are lacking somewhere. That is how my abuser got to me. He used my lack of my real father in my life to his advantage. Talk to your child and make sure they understand what is not proper behavior at their age. I started by asking just in general how my son's day was, or when he would go to his father's or another family members house without me, if there were any issues. I always made sure what was going on when he was even out of my sight. When a child starts hiding things then that is where you know there is an issue. Especially if you keep the lines of communication open. Yes sometimes there are going to be things they are not comfortable talking about but when it comes to their safety, sometimes you have to push a bit. My mom would step in too, when we had instances of issues with things he would not talk with me about. Having more then one person a child can talk to does them a world of good. I had people around me I could talk to but because of my vulnerability with respect to my real father, it worked against everything. At that time, it was also something that did not weigh on a parents mind. Times now have changed and so must we. In the end you are your child's first line of defense. Sometimes things will slip by, it is the really bad shit you need to be on top of. If you instill good morals and an understanding of the fact that the world is not always a safe place, then you are doing an awesome job as a parent. Always stay positive too, if you let it work on your nerves, then your child will know and they will be less likely to talk to you. They don't like seeing us stressed anymore then we do them.

Keep being a great parent. =)

 

[DT]

...i'm a smoker...

Don't you know that's bad for you?

Sorry, couldn't help it.

We keep a close eye on our kids, and every once in a while will do a bit of snooping not to invade their personal lives, but just to keep a finger on the pulse of their lives and make sure nothing like this is going on.

There is a special place in hell for pedophiles...

 

[unknownerrors]

smoker..

its bad for me? REALLY!?!
/em packs a fresh pack..
people die in car crashes every day, i dont see people giving up their cars.

 

[Zinky]

This is Mordred's GF. Figured it was easier for me to say then him.

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. My mom's second husband, so I know exactly where you are coming from. Yes it can be scary being a parent when your child comes to you about certain things and you wonder where they heard about it. All you can really do is teach them to notice things and to speak up when they feel uneasy. These sickos go to great lengths to keep themselves as hidden as possible and they prey on those children who are lacking somewhere. That is how my abuser got to me. He used my lack of my real father in my life to his advantage. Talk to your child and make sure they understand what is not proper behavior at their age. I started by asking just in general how my son's day was, or when he would go to his father's or another family members house without me, if there were any issues. I always made sure what was going on when he was even out of my sight. When a child starts hiding things then that is where you know there is an issue. Especially if you keep the lines of communication open. Yes sometimes there are going to be things they are not comfortable talking about but when it comes to their safety, sometimes you have to push a bit. My mom would step in too, when we had instances of issues with things he would not talk with me about. Having more then one person a child can talk to does them a world of good. I had people around me I could talk to but because of my vulnerability with respect to my real father, it worked against everything. At that time, it was also something that did not weigh on a parents mind. Times now have changed and so must we. In the end you are your child's first line of defense. Sometimes things will slip by, it is the really bad shit you need to be on top of. If you instill good morals and an understanding of the fact that the world is not always a safe place, then you are doing an awesome job as a parent. Always stay positive too, if you let it work on your nerves, then your child will know and they will be less likely to talk to you. They don't like seeing us stressed anymore then we do them.

Keep being a great parent. =)

Thanks for a very good, and undoubtedly not very easy, post.

Having been through this myself, I'll add one more thing for others. If something was done to you by a family member and that family member is still alive and has access to other kids, even if it happened years ago and you kept quiet about it when it happened , the time for that is OVER. Every family has secrets, but keeping secret about something like this just enables the predator to prey on someone else.

This happened to me growing up (happens to boys too), and like many (most?) victims I kept quiet. After it stopped, I put it behind me, ignored it, didn't want to cause more trouble in the family. Until I had me own kid...until the creep offered to come live with us to 'help take care of your daughter.'

Then I did what I should have done years before, and called my brother and his wife (with a 5-year old) to let them know, as well as other family members with kids. With his record of multiple assaults, etc. there was no way that he would pass a background check for a job working with kids, but I made the police in his town, who I had worked with before, aware of it as well so they could judge if any additional precautions needed to be taken. Thankfully nothing had happened to my brother's kid - the predator had never even seen her - but I don't know how I could have handled it if something had.

These were not easy conversations, but...even if it happened years ago, even if is in your past, don't let silence enable the predator to prey on others.

Mordred's GF - thanks again.

 

[Zinky]

There is a special place in hell for pedophiles...

Not a very charitable thought, but I could get behind 'death by wood chipper' as a means for speeding them there.

 

[Dealings]

there is a scene in Hannibal when hes captured and the deformed guy tells him hes going to feed him to some wild pigs

He tells Hannibal Dont you wish you had finished me

Hannibal replies no I much prefer you this way

in the book the deformed guy was possibly a child rapist, and Hannibal drugged him and made him cut off his lips eyelids and cut up his face to feed it to his dog.

There is no painful death good enough for anyone that harms children, the best thing is a long painful life.

 

[Mordred]

Modred's GF again.

TY Zinky for saying that. My abuse went from around 7 yrs of age till almost 13, when Mom left him and we moved back to Texas. I kept my mouth shut for one reason and one reason only. I was afraid what my Grandfather would do because of some things he had said in the past. I honestly don't know if my abuser did do it to anyone else, but the likely hood is he did. My second year of college was when I finally told my family. When that happened my Mom looked into finding him. She did track him down and made a few people in his family aware of what took place. Whatever came of that we do not know, but in the early 2000's he died. Had a massive heart attack and was dead before the ambulance got to him. For me that is my justice, he no longer walks the planet with me.

Yes I should have spoken up, dealing with that was part of my recovery. I do still deal with it from time to time but it made me the person I am today. I have been able to help others because of what I went through. It makes me look at people differently when I first meet them. My gut tells me lots these days on those first meetings. Have people I never allow myself or my son be around because of it.

I know I veered off topic a bit, but this is something I am passionate about. Making sure kids know there are bad people out there. When I was a daycare teacher, and also took care of kids on weekends and nights, I made sure those kids were safe and knowledgeable about the good and the bad around us. Have had kids where I did step in and speak up for them because they were not able to, and I wish there were more people out there who did that. All I do know for sure is that talking to them is one hell of an important thing to do. Don't make it the subject no one wants to speak of because back when it happened to me, that is how it was. My mother was raped by someone she knew and got pregnant from that. She had to give up that child and not talk about it. We need to be more open and honest with our kids, and if they won't talk to us, then they need to talk to someone. If that is a friend, school teacher, one of your own good friends, or a grandparent, great. Just don't shut the door on communication.

On a side note...I am with you guys on how much they should suffer. Wood chipper would work, hell let them have at each other in a locked cell. There is enough bad in the world, that pedophiles need to realize that we will not tolerate them doing that sick shit to our kids.