cheating partners and the other dude

[BlueBug]

The best revenge in a situation like this is to move on and have a happy life.

One day in the distant future when you run across her in the grocery / book store middle of the street; have a smile on your face and a decent woman on your arm. When you look at her self-abused ciggarette stain face with premature wrinkles and the alcoholic veins pulsing under the skin on her nose, you will know that the revenge you've gotten is to have left her alone to her own demons. Don't try to hurt her, you can't hurt somebody like that more than they can themselves.
Just go and be happy someplace else with somebody else. There are people like that in every facet of life. Don't let it ruin you're trust in others.



BB

 

[JimJohnson]

My 2c: Just let her go, and move on with life.

htw

Make sure she leaves the coffee pot at least

 

[kirbanmanaburn]

Well, I don't think I'm gonna tell him. It's not so much about whether that leads to him fucking her (if he hasn't already). It's just that when she looks back I'd rather she actually have to figure out what really happened than just remember what a jerk-off I was about it. Better to just go quietly.

But to all of you assuming she's finished with me-- you're dead wrong. When I found out I immediately packed all my shit in the car, then I called her up (like I said she's out of town for a few days) and told her we were finished. She flipped the fuck out and has been calling me non-stop trying to apologize since. She is vehement that she wants to work things out and that she made a mistake. In fact she tried to catch the next flight home, but I told her if she did that I wouldn't talk to her.

That doesn't change anything. She kept this from me for months. The amount of dishonesty involved is pretty colossal. Could she repair my trust in her over time? Sure. Would it take more time and effort than I'm willing to invest in someone who did this to me? Absolutely. When I'm 38, have a couple kids and am married to a woman who does this to me, I'll work it out. At 24 with no kids and just a shared lease, I'm walking.

 

[RaidNazi]

Post naked pictures of her all over the internet.

If you dont have any, have some "makeup sex" and give her some ass 2 mouth while recording it or something.

 

[kirbanmanaburn]

Though most of these horrible suggestions aren't things I would ever seriously consider doing, they do put a smile on my face. Thanks, guys.

 

[DemonH2]

Tell the guy she has AIDS. He probably would just think your a pissed off ex, but would you risk it?

 

[Kkthnx]

Tell the guy she has AIDS. He probably would just think your a pissed off ex, but would you risk it?

ROFL

 

[aCunningGnome]

DemonH2 WIN

I wouldn't risk it =P

Oh, and did you try consulting /b/? They can usually get these kinds of problems worked out.

 

[abraham234]

You did the right thing by walking about. Look at it like this it takes a really worthless woman to cheat on someone she has been with for that amount of time and she is not worth going back to. There are what like 10 or 20 women to 1 man why even go back to her just move on and be happey

 

[kirbanmanaburn]

You know the funny thing is I've been cheated on before and it's never the cheating that bothers me. I'm not a cheater myself, but I have wandering eyes just like any other human being and I can at least acknowledge we didn't evolve to be monogamous and that it's a hard sacrifice to make. People slip up.

What always makes me unwilling to forgive the person that cheated on me are the months of dishonesty and elaborate fabrication that come after to cover up the cheating. If she came to me not long after she did it and said "we need to talk. I fucked up," I probably would have stayed with her. But instead she put on a perfect demonstration of how totally deceitful she can be and I only ever found out in the end by snooping.

 

[DemonH2]

You gotta keep a tight leash on a bitch or its gonna piss on the wrong fire hydrant from time to time. True words.

 

[Wizman61]

Dude, at your age my wife cheated on me because, basically I was the one who wanted to settle down. We had 2 kids already ages 3 and 4. She wanted to go out partying every weekend, I was happy to stay at home and enjoy time with the kids. I was devastated but got my shit together for my kids and ended up with custody of them. I saw them through most of their school years on my own.
You're taking the right approach, walk away. If you feel like it's worth an effort to keep her, definitely do the counseling thing. At the least, it will help put the onus where it belongs. If you want to do something a little spiteful tell the guy she's screwing around with that she gave you Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving hehe.

 

[kirbanmanaburn]

Wow. I never understood why some people don't get the memo when they have kids. You know, the one that reads "guess what? The party is over!"

 

[WickedMofo]

Feel bad for you. I hope you can let her go. It sucks when things like that happen, been there done that.

 

[PRWraith]

People six feet under don't talk just a thought j/k

 

[MissTerious]

deceptive title

a. I'm confused. How could she 'step out' when he's not aware of her having a school-girl crush on him?

b. The title of this thread got my hopes up. I thought someone was looking for a cheating buddy.

 

[kirbanmanaburn]

To answer question A, the shit I found while snooping pretty strongly indicates that they were hooking up. I don't believe her lame excuses, I just explained them here for your benefit.

 

[JimJohnson]

I fucked up," I probably would have stayed with her. But instead she put on a perfect demonstration of how totally deceitful she can be and I only ever found out in the end by snooping.

Snooping to me is just as bad regardless of the fact she may have cheated. In the first post you stated if not mistaken she had not cheated just wanted to get with him. Anything you do after that to invade her privacy is lacking character, while she may have cheated you dont know and it takes a good long hard look into oneself to see if you should stay or go. Spying on them effectively ends the relationship regardless of what you find. As your mind will typically rationalize out that she did something really wrong(it already wants to go that direction).

Wow. I never understood why some people don't get the memo when they have kids. You know, the one that reads "guess what? The party is over!"

Just because someone has kids doesn't mean they need to stop having a life. Does it mean you can go get shitfaced every weekend? No but doesn't mean your life is over.

 

[htw]

Yeah. It's always best if you just assume a woman is cheating, or eventually will. Most of the time, you will end up being right.

htw

 

[Nidic]

I don't know if it has already been mentioned, but, tell her that you've been putting something off because you didn't know how to tell her... but she really needs to get checked. The hookers you sleep with aren't all that clean... That'll teach her.