Off the wall Question...

[SekretAgent]

Me and this girl got together 2 years ago under the pretense "its just sex". She then decided to get serious but kept fucking around with her ex we'll call "ryan". Before Ryan she was with a guy named "josh" for 5 years and had a baby with him. She left him when the baby was about 1 year old bc hes a flaming pile of douche bagness... Ryan is a scum bag that was living with his baby mama of 3 while seeing my gf whom we will name "Jen". So I decided to fuck other girls seeing as to how she was to, right?

Anyways Long story short we gave up our ex's and moved in together. She kicked me out one night and on the same night had her ex ryan over. So i naturally got fucking pissed and fucked random_girl_008. Well we found she was pregnant in march and decided to try again. We have lived together since March. She got herself taken out of work in August leaving me with 2 car payments, rent, electricity, food for 3.5, Heat (its NY it gets fucking cold), Car insurance and the whole fucking lot. Baby was born in december and I had to buy formula and everything because WIC never came in nor did disability. A month ago she finally got WIC but they wont cover the formula he is on.

To get to my point... She left me 3 days ago for her ex ryan and hasn't attempted to see the baby. Do I have to give him back to her even tho I have no idea where she has been for the last three days and where she plans on staying? One set of cops said yes the other said no.

 

[dulak]

If you're on the birth certificate as the father then you stand a chance of not having to return the baby. As it stands, from the info you've given us, "jen" has abandoned the child, according to the laws of my state anyhow. If you've got the birth certificate and your ID, then go to child services, show them the certificate and explain what's happened and they should award you with full custody. My advice, don't let her back in regardless of what she tells you. Thus far, info provided, shows she's a cheater and will always be such. I'd get in touch with child services as well as the law once CS tells you how it's going to go. I'm a vindictive S.O.B. and despise parents who don't even make an attempt to see their child/ren.

 

[twizzops]

I am not sure that child social services would be the last stop. It would be the first stop, but I think in order to get full custody, you would need to have a judge sign off on it.

You need to get a paper trail started so it's more than just your word if she decides to try to come back and grab custody herself. They usually award babies to mothers even if they are a worse mom than the father.

Just some personal experience with friends that have gone through custody battles. I am no lawyer and I don't even live in NY so take what I say with a grain of salt.

 

[Lorekeeper]

Get the kid, Dump her ass. end of story

 

[Rooster95]

A big factor in this is dependent on if your name is on the birth certificate. if it is, then you have just as much legal right as she does. The dept. of family and children services is your first stop. Talk to them and see what they can tell you and what they can do, then you may want to look into getting something binding to keep her away from the kid until the courts can decide the outcome. A judge is gonna have to make the final call, and the faster you get the ball rolling the better off you'll be. File for sole custody. Your biggest help in this is going to be a lawyer who handles these types of cases. They will know exactly what to do and what paperwork to file. My heart goes out to you on this one man. I raised my boys on my own for over 13 years, till i got married last June. It's not an easy road, but i commend you for stepping up to the plate.

 

[SekretAgent]

I called 4 different Branches of Police and 3 of the 4 said bc I am on the birth certificate and have it in my possession as well as the baby and that this is his permanent address she can't get a used diaper with out me signing off on it. I have to go to family court and apply for sole emergency custody which grants me 100% physical custody until the the custody battle is over which could take up to 8 weeks.

I really didnt want this to turn ugly but she left me no choice. She showed up this afternoon for twenty mins in which she spent 10 of them packing more clothes. She may have been mad at the fact I was not letting her take him but she said some realy really mean and degrading things about me him and who his father is and should be. She flamed me on Facebook and I printed the whole thing off for evidence.

I have saved text messages and emails to better help my case. The police were extremely helpful im honestly surprised.

I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this and offer your help i really appreciate it

 

[charlieonly]

even if you signed the birth cert you still need to get legitimated from court the faster you do this the better then you can go with the court custody.
i spent bout 30k fighting for my custody to a mother that was just unfit at that time

even with all the messages, text, emails and a letetr signed by a witness where she gave full custody to me a year before ,my lawyer still only gave me a 50/50 shot

i wound up settling for joint custody when it came down to trial date with the goal of keep collecting evidence and in 1 year we can go back for full custody again.....lawyer didnt tell me it was a 5 year minimum to even get back in front of a judge unless it was an emergency situation.

good luck i dont know how NY is but georgia is a good ole boy state where most judges still like the mothers the best

 

[JimJohnson]

good luck i dont know how NY is but georgia is a good ole boy state where most judges still like the mothers the best

This is all it comes down too is the standard ruling in your state, and what judge you do get..

Best of luck getting stuff worked out.

 

[scuff11]

good luck i dont know how NY is but georgia is a good ole boy state where most judges still like the mothers the best

This is all it comes down too is the standard ruling in your state, and what judge you do get..

Best of luck getting stuff worked out.

this is all to true, in utah its the same bullshit, you have to pretty much prove the mother to be strung out or something as terreble to have a shot at custody, im going on 13 years divorced and mine was horrible. keep saving everything she sends and says it does help. in the end its all about the child so do your best and shit WILL pay off, my son is 13 and my daughter is 16 now, things have mellowed but they see all the bullshit there mother put me through and my boy wants nothing to do with her.

so keep your head up its a rocky road but with a little luck stuff will go in your direction

 

[dulak]

Also, something to keep in mind are her "sleeping" habits. In most cases, pending on how the judge was raised, that alone will prove a mother unfit. GL bro and I hope everything works out for you. I'm moving to Co over the course of today and tomorrow so I won't be able to keep up with whats going on for a bit.

 

[Rooster95]

good luck i dont know how NY is but georgia is a good ole boy state where most judges still like the mothers the best

Not in all cases, but in a lot yeah. I live in Ga too and i had no trouble getting full custody of both of my boys.

 

[Lorekeeper]

well thats cause your rich rooster.
jk

 

[Rooster95]

well thats cause your rich rooster.
jk

Yeah, wouldn't that be nice lol.

 

[SekretAgent]

So it has been a week since the bullshit went down. I have literally 7 pages of documented texts and conversations that occured between us along with time stamps.

I applied for food stamps just bc I wanted to turn her in for abusing the system and collecting whilst she did her bullshit. i also filed for temporary custody in which was not granted but instead the judge says the only thing is the baby cant leave my county. Fucking retards. I also applied for full custody and child support, whether or not i get either is not up to me but its a shot.

She came over thursday night and spent the night while her ex Ryan tried contacting her. Pretty sure I dont have to go into details about how much fun an "anger bang" is.

FML this shit is gay.

 

[burntbulb]

i wish you the best of luck with all your efforts. i don't have any children of my own yet and had always imagined i'd have one by the time i was 30, but that didn't happen. my current girl has stopped taking the pill so so we are officially trying now. she already has a girl from before we met and i cant see how any one would just not want any thing to do with their kid/s considering how much i want one of my own.

on a separate note a guy i work with has been trying to get custody of his grandchild. the mother would drop off the kid with him and go out and get wasted on drugs. the judge said she wasn't unfit because she knew enough to put the kid where she knew they would be safe... you never know with these things...

 

[Ccomp5950]

. Pretty sure I dont have to go into details about how much fun an "anger bang" is.

You fucked her after all this shit?

Good luck getting off the rape charges.

 

[Brano11]

Yea I don't see how fucking her was a smart idea

 

[SekretAgent]

Probably was not the best thing but its been a week and i have saved text messages from her saying how horny and shit she was and some other really explicit things she said to me....