cheating partners and the other dude

[kirbanmanaburn]

You're wrong, JJ. I snooped in the first place (and I never would have found out about this stuff at all if I hadn't) because things had been funny between us for a while and I had gone to her many, many times and said I was open to hearing whatever was going on, but she never opened up about anything. Snooping was a last resort, something I have never done to a woman before, and something I hope never to do again.

And the moment I did it, I resolved to tell her I had done it before asking her any other questions. So when I called her up, the first words out of my mouth were "I read your stuff." And she wasn't angry at all, she understood why I did it.

Snooping is definitely a breach of trust in the same sense that cheating is, but it's not the end of a relationship by any means. If you don't find anything, you're the one doing the apologizing. If you do, it's the other way around.

And though she claims nothing really happened, that doesn't make any sense based on a lot of the stuff I found/read, so the chances she's telling to the truth are pretty much non-existent. I'm 99.99 percent certain she's just trying to cover up because she's afraid of ending up single right now.

 

[Funkalicious]

Donkey punch her then send her packing. As far as the other guy goes, I'd just leave it alone.

 

[DT]

JJ, that just doesn't make sense at all. Especially coming from you, as I imagine you are a person that makes sure things are working the way intended.

If you don't get suspicious, ask questions, then do a little homework if you still feel funny, you're just a yuppy who deserves to be hung out on a line.

 

[DemonH2]

Just because someone has kids doesn't mean they need to stop having a life. Does it mean you can go get shitfaced every weekend? No but doesn't mean your life is over.

Ever have kids? Your in for a shock...

Life as you knew it/want it to be, is over.

 

[Wizman61]

Ever have kids? Your in for a shock...

Life as you knew it/want it to be, is over.

ROFL man are you right on that! Then wait til the oldest are grown and having kids and have another one I'll be 63 when this one graduates high school. I wouldn't give a minute of the time I have with him up though, he's soo much fun and actually makes me feel younger most days lol.

 

[twizzops]

Ever have kids? Your in for a shock...

Life as you knew it/want it to be, is over.

I have a 10 month old little boy. My wife stays home with him during the day and when I get off work I have family time with them. When he goes to sleep, we have 2 to 3 hours to spend the same sort of time we spent together while dating and married, just at home. If not being able to go out means you have no life, then I have no life.

I enjoy my new life with my family and I am pretty sure my wife is loving it as well.

In the end partying, getting drunk, and sleeping with different people may be a life for some people, but I think it just leads some drama and depression.

Give me my stable life and happy family any day of the week.

 

[cudacuf]

I have SOOOOO many things to say about this....

But, I'll keep it simple. Find a hotter chick and be seen with her. You don't even have to do her. Put up some $ and get an escort if you have to and take her to lunch somewhere where your girlfriend's friends will see you.

P.S.
I never got the memo about having kids ending your life. I have a GREAT time. I just do it while the kids are at school and a few times out a month.

 

[DemonH2]

Ok....thanks for supporting my thoughts?

Sounds like every one of yall drastically changed your life when the baby came. I didn't say it was for the worse.

But, your life your living is over.

Maybe we differ on what I mean when i say your life is over. The life you had is over. You have a new life. One bending over backwards to find free time to do anything. And cuda its a good bit harder when you have a 9 to 5 job =p

and when i say /want it to be.

Show of hands. Which of you guys arguing against me have NOT wished they have more free time?

 

[JimJohnson]

In relationships if I cannt trust a person I would walk. If something happens that makes me think something is up. I ask them, how they field the question makes up my mind.

Things change with kids true. This again does not mean life has to suck. Yea you have new responsibilities. You can still enjoy life.

 

[Smarty]

i enjoy life with my kid, i'll admit not as much fun as when i had none, but taking the 3 year old out to shoot the pistol in the back yard does rank pretty high.

 

[DemonH2]

My wife goes to school and works 30 hours a week. I work about 50-60 hours a week and am on call for another 80. I have a 4 month old baby and no babysitter, I do have daycare.

If I have time to read a magazine when i take a shit im doing great.

 

[Smarty]

wtf else can you do while you shit!?

 

[cudacuf]

My wife goes to school and works 30 hours a week. I work about 50-60 hours a week and am on call for another 80. I have a 4 month old baby and no babysitter, I do have daycare.

If I have time to read a magazine when i take a shit im doing great.

You work 60 hours and are on call 80 hours and there are only 168 hours in a week.

 

[DemonH2]

I've practiced getting faster smarty. I could squeeze out a yule log in about 35 seconds.

 

[DemonH2]

You work 60 hours and are on call 80 hours and there are only 168 hours in a week.

Very good!

Ok well to be fair I've been working from 7am to 5:30 sometimes 6 o clock. My on call time officially starts at 5pm. So there is some overlappage. And its a rough estimate =p Fairly close though. Im on call from 6am until 9:30pm. every weekend.

 

[twizzops]

Ok....thanks for supporting my thoughts?

Sounds like every one of yall drastically changed your life when the baby came. I didn't say it was for the worse.

But, your life your living is over.

Maybe we differ on what I mean when i say your life is over. The life you had is over. You have a new life. One bending over backwards to find free time to do anything. And cuda its a good bit harder when you have a 9 to 5 job =p

and when i say /want it to be.

Show of hands. Which of you guys arguing against me have NOT wished they have more free time?

I agree that the life I had before marriage and then again before children is different than the life I had in the military and then college. It's not worse though, just different.

Instead of looking for things to do with my free time I am now looking for ways to make free time. I am more busy and my free time is more valuable to me.

However, I have much more sex now then I did then. I eat better and I have a more stable life. Fun is a relative term. I would say I have fun watching my child learn new things and spending time with my wife. Thing is my fun is now spent with the same people all of the time and not so much with friends. That's the biggest change. It's always the hardest with friends that aren't married and have children.

It's sometimes hard to interpret what someone really means by what they write. "Ever have kids? Your in for a shock... Life as you knew it/want it to be, is over." I took that statement as family and children are a negative thing on someone's life rather than "your life will change". It's all a trade off and you can't have it both ways.

 

[kirbanmanaburn]

LOL, kids sound like a blast.

And as far as walking on someone you don't trust, I'm not gonna walk on the first woman I ever moved in with because things don't seem right but I don't have a clue what's going on.

I could just as easily have read her shit and found out something totally legitimate was making things weird for us, and she just wasn't comfortable telling me about it yet. In which case I would have a whole lot of apologizing to do about the snooping, but I wouldn't have put my shit in the car as soon as I put her notebook down.

It was important I knew what was going on before I reacted.

 

[RaidNazi]

DemonH2 WIN

I wouldn't risk it =P

Oh, and did you try consulting /b/? They can usually get these kinds of problems worked out.

Asking /b/ for relationship advice should only be done AFTER you an hero for even contemplating it.

 

[bubdog]

My 2 c

The day she comes to move out get a buddy of yours she doesnt know to come over and pretend to be your gay lover and then be like o bitch you didnt know? Thatll fuck with her head good

 

[Terin01]

dont take my advise it sucks

i saw another post about this stuff on here...cant remember the name of the post but I do remember the website was Revengecrabs.com